When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.

Quote by Nick Arnette

Topics: Funny Quotes, Money Quotes

I do 5 sit-ups every morning. May not sound like much, but there's only so...

I do 5 sit-ups every morning. May not sound like much, but there's only so...

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then...

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then...

Study without thought is vain: thought without study is dangerous.

Study without thought is vain: thought without study is dangerous.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and Im not sure about the...

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and Im not sure about the...

'True Life: I Have A Hot Mom' is easily my favorite True Life.

'True Life: I Have A Hot Mom' is easily my favorite True Life.

I think he [Archie Bunker] is in every man my age, no matter what he...

I think he [Archie Bunker] is in every man my age, no matter what he...

To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And...

To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And...

God don't make no mistakes. That's how He got to be God.

God don't make no mistakes. That's how He got to be God.

Sometimes I'm so sweet even I can't stand it.

Sometimes I'm so sweet even I can't stand it.

I had lunch with a chess champion the other day. I knew he was a...

I had lunch with a chess champion the other day. I knew he was a...

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

That awkward moment during a test and you don't know any of the answers, so...

That awkward moment during a test and you don't know any of the answers, so...

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood -- Babe, District Attorney, and Driving...

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood -- Babe, District Attorney, and Driving...

It's only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny...

It's only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny...

When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family...

When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family...

Some refer to it as a cultural Chernobyl. I think of it as a cultural...

Some refer to it as a cultural Chernobyl. I think of it as a cultural...

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

Age appears to be best in four things, - old wood best to burn, old...

Age appears to be best in four things, - old wood best to burn, old...

However toplofty and idealistic a man may be, he can always rationalize his right to...

However toplofty and idealistic a man may be, he can always rationalize his right to...

I'm staggered by the question of what it's like to be a multimillionaire. I always...

I'm staggered by the question of what it's like to be a multimillionaire. I always...