I was good at math before they decided to mix the alphabet in it.

Topics: Funny Quotes, Mathematics Quotes, School Quotes, Student Quotes

The political machine triumphs because it is a united minority acting against a divided majority.

The political machine triumphs because it is a united minority acting against a divided majority.

Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.

Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by...

Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by...

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

There is absolutely nothing to be said in favour of growing old. There ought to...

There is absolutely nothing to be said in favour of growing old. There ought to...

Anything you cannot relinquish when it has outlived its usefulness possesses you, and in this...

Anything you cannot relinquish when it has outlived its usefulness possesses you, and in this...

I believe the true function of age is memory. I'm recording as fast as I...

I believe the true function of age is memory. I'm recording as fast as I...

Roger Ebert has had his right thumb trademarked. Now the police will actually have to...

Roger Ebert has had his right thumb trademarked. Now the police will actually have to...

Borrow your wife's pink slippers just to go check the mail and everybody in the...

Borrow your wife's pink slippers just to go check the mail and everybody in the...

I think I don't regret a single 'excess' of my responsive youth-I only regret, in...

I think I don't regret a single 'excess' of my responsive youth-I only regret, in...

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

Breasts like granite and a brain like swiss cheese.

Breasts like granite and a brain like swiss cheese.

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get...

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get...

I have to be careful to get out before I become the grotesque caricature of...

I have to be careful to get out before I become the grotesque caricature of...

In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep, one must above...

In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep, one must above...

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an...

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an...

The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.

The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.

Our account does not rob mathematicians of their science, by disproving the actual existence of...

Our account does not rob mathematicians of their science, by disproving the actual existence of...

What I assert and believe to have demonstrated in this and earlier works is that...

What I assert and believe to have demonstrated in this and earlier works is that...

Every board member should have the right to stand up and vote the way they...

Every board member should have the right to stand up and vote the way they...

That awkward silence after a teacher yells at a student.

That awkward silence after a teacher yells at a student.