I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Dave Barry Quotes

Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items...

Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items...

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks...

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks...

What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in...

What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in...

The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species.

The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species.

Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage...

Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage...

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take...

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take...

In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up...

In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up...

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely...

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely...

If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I...

If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I...

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads,...

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads,...

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be...

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be...

The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.

The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of...

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of...

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish...

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish...

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.

Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to...

Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to...

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in...

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in...

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and...

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and...

Tomorrow is always the future.

Tomorrow is always the future.

Goals are always in demand. There will always be a market for a striker who...

Goals are always in demand. There will always be a market for a striker who...