The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.
Quote by Brian Pickrell
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and...
I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef...
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero...
In the information age, you don't teach philosophy as they did after feudalism. You perform...
The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch.
Apparently I'm a 'Long' texter. Thanks for the criticism. Next time I'll just write 'F*ck...
It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
The closest I ever came to a menage-a-trois was when I dated a schizophrenic.
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of...
If your attack is going too well, youre walking into an ambush.
Be nice to everyone on your way to the top because you pass them all...
I was always too mature for my age - and not very happy. I had...
Those who do not study are only cattle dressed up in mens clothes.
Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.
In youth we learn; in age we understand.
He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working when you get up in the...
Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.
There are only two ways by which to rise in this world, either by one's...