One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave beard hairs that don't even exist yet

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Funny Quotes, Teenage Quotes

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can...

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can...

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish...

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish...

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be...

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be...

Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage...

Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of...

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of...

The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.

The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined...

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined...

Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always...

Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always...

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a...

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a...

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...

The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about...

The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about...

And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will...

And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will...

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

In fact, just about all the major natural attractions you find in the West- the...

In fact, just about all the major natural attractions you find in the West- the...

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety...

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety...

You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you...

You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you...

Good day Mr. Turner.

Good day Mr. Turner.

A movie star is not an artist, he is an art object.

A movie star is not an artist, he is an art object.

When I played pro football, I never set out to hurt anyone deliberately - unless...

When I played pro football, I never set out to hurt anyone deliberately - unless...