There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

Quote by Somerset Maugham

Topics: Funny Quotes, Writers Quotes

I made up my mind long ago that life was too short to do anything...

I made up my mind long ago that life was too short to do anything...

Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have...

Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have...

The trouble with young writers is that they are all in their sixties.

The trouble with young writers is that they are all in their sixties.

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

In the world a man lives in his own age; in solitude in all ages.

In the world a man lives in his own age; in solitude in all ages.

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.

I do not know the American gentleman, God forgive me for putting two such words...

I do not know the American gentleman, God forgive me for putting two such words...

Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.

Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with...

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with...

My marriage is on the rocks again; yeah, my wife just broke up with her...

My marriage is on the rocks again; yeah, my wife just broke up with her...

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.

Now the peak of summer's past, the sky is overcast And the love we swore...

Now the peak of summer's past, the sky is overcast And the love we swore...

I had lunch with a chess champion the other day. I knew he was a...

I had lunch with a chess champion the other day. I knew he was a...

Supreme art is a traditional statement of certain heroic and religious truth, passed on from...

Supreme art is a traditional statement of certain heroic and religious truth, passed on from...

The path of least resistance is the path of the loser.

The path of least resistance is the path of the loser.

Middle age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature.

Middle age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature.

When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in...

When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in...

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year....

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year....

For age and want save while you may, No morning sun lasts a whole day.

For age and want save while you may, No morning sun lasts a whole day.

In America, only the successful writer is important, in France all writers are important, in...

In America, only the successful writer is important, in France all writers are important, in...