Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

Quote by Somerset Maugham

Topics: Death Quotes, Funny Quotes

The trouble with young writers is that they are all in their sixties.

The trouble with young writers is that they are all in their sixties.

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

I made up my mind long ago that life was too short to do anything...

I made up my mind long ago that life was too short to do anything...

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

Love is the heart of the soul.

Love is the heart of the soul.

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

It looked as if a night of dark intent Was coming, and not only a...

It looked as if a night of dark intent Was coming, and not only a...

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither!

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither!

It is my art. I am better at it than I ever was. And I...

It is my art. I am better at it than I ever was. And I...

French wine growers fear that this year's vintage may be entirely spoiled due to the...

French wine growers fear that this year's vintage may be entirely spoiled due to the...

If you ask me anything I don't know, I'm not going to answer.

If you ask me anything I don't know, I'm not going to answer.

Youth is the time of getting, middle age of improving, and old age of spending.

Youth is the time of getting, middle age of improving, and old age of spending.

Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one-off, and it was so successful she turned...

Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one-off, and it was so successful she turned...

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But...

It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But...

I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad...

I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad...

Before a clock was in the tower, Or e'er a watch was worn; I knew...

Before a clock was in the tower, Or e'er a watch was worn; I knew...

Everyday took an age to go by, which was odd, because days plural went past...

Everyday took an age to go by, which was odd, because days plural went past...

Why pay a dollar for a bookmark? Why not use the dollar for a bookmark?

Why pay a dollar for a bookmark? Why not use the dollar for a bookmark?

From my close observation of writers...they fall into two groups: 1) those who bleed copiously...

From my close observation of writers...they fall into two groups: 1) those who bleed copiously...