Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
Quote by Somerset Maugham
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
The trouble with young writers is that they are all in their sixties.
There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
I made up my mind long ago that life was too short to do anything...
Jude Law is in so many movies, that I went to one, and when I...
It is easy to become a monk in one's old age.
My next breakup line 'Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, you.'
As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for...
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
I believe that sex is the most beautiful, natural, and wholesome thing that money can...
Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
Those prizes in Cracker Jacks are a joke. I once got a magnifying glass. It...
It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.
The hardest people to convince they are at retirement age are children at bedtime.
It is the privilege of posterity to set matters right between those antagonists who, by...
I wouldn't mind dying in a plane crash. It'd be a good way to go....
Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...
In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.
Thug Life to me is dead.