I made up my mind long ago that life was too short to do anything for myself that I could pay others to do for me.

Quote by Somerset Maugham

Topics: Funny Quotes, Life Quotes

The trouble with young writers is that they are all in their sixties.

The trouble with young writers is that they are all in their sixties.

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have...

Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have...

For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life...

For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life...

Life is act, and not to do is death.

Life is act, and not to do is death.

A nation or civilization that continues to produce soft-minded men purchases its own spiritual death...

A nation or civilization that continues to produce soft-minded men purchases its own spiritual death...

Generosity during life is a very different thing from generosity in the hour of death;...

Generosity during life is a very different thing from generosity in the hour of death;...

Nothing lasts for ever but the Earth and sky.

Nothing lasts for ever but the Earth and sky.

If ignorance is bliss, then I'd hope to, one day, be MultiOrgasmic.

If ignorance is bliss, then I'd hope to, one day, be MultiOrgasmic.

There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.

There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.

I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing.

I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing.

I offer neither pay, nor quarters, nor food; I offer only hunger, thirst, forced marches,...

I offer neither pay, nor quarters, nor food; I offer only hunger, thirst, forced marches,...

Good men must die, but death cannot kill their names.

Good men must die, but death cannot kill their names.

Life's the greates torture sould feel in hell, In hell: that they must live, and...

Life's the greates torture sould feel in hell, In hell: that they must live, and...

Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste death but once.

Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste death but once.

Wit thou well that I will not live long after thy days.

Wit thou well that I will not live long after thy days.

I care not, a man can die but once; we owe God and death.

I care not, a man can die but once; we owe God and death.

One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.

One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.

Finality is death. Perfection is finality. Nothing is perfect. There are lumps in it.

Finality is death. Perfection is finality. Nothing is perfect. There are lumps in it.

I made a killing in the stock market. My broker lost all my money, so...

I made a killing in the stock market. My broker lost all my money, so...