The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.

Quote by Ronnie Barker

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only...

The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only...

To get a job where the only thing you have to do in your career...

To get a job where the only thing you have to do in your career...

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

As I get older, I just prefer to knit.

As I get older, I just prefer to knit.

I can't think why mothers love them. All babies do is leak at both ends.

I can't think why mothers love them. All babies do is leak at both ends.

I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.

I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.

Age steals away all things, even the mind.

Age steals away all things, even the mind.

Dublin university contains the cream of Ireland: Rich and thick.

Dublin university contains the cream of Ireland: Rich and thick.

My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years...

My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years...

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come...

Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come...

Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that...

Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that...

Dont complain about the snow on your neighbors roof when your own doorstep is unclean.

Dont complain about the snow on your neighbors roof when your own doorstep is unclean.

If Monday was a person, it'd be a Ginger...

If Monday was a person, it'd be a Ginger...

Let us never know what old age is. Let us know the happiness time brings,...

Let us never know what old age is. Let us know the happiness time brings,...

I have to be careful to get out before I become the grotesque caricature of...

I have to be careful to get out before I become the grotesque caricature of...

He's done more U-turns than a dodgy plumber.

He's done more U-turns than a dodgy plumber.

I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my...

I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my...

Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it I wash my mouth out...

Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it I wash my mouth out...

For me there are only two type of women: goddesses and doormats.

For me there are only two type of women: goddesses and doormats.

I was born in Alabama. I was raised in Georgia. I'm so Southern I'm related...

I was born in Alabama. I was raised in Georgia. I'm so Southern I'm related...