The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.

Quote by Ronnie Barker

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only...

The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only...

To get a job where the only thing you have to do in your career...

To get a job where the only thing you have to do in your career...

Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you...

Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you...

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.

I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to...

I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to...

It's awful knowing that one seventh of our life will be wasted on Mondays.

It's awful knowing that one seventh of our life will be wasted on Mondays.

I think the dying pray at the last not please but thank you as a...

I think the dying pray at the last not please but thank you as a...

Responsibility for learning belongs to the student, regardless of age.

Responsibility for learning belongs to the student, regardless of age.

A pun is the lowest form of humor -- when you don't think of it...

A pun is the lowest form of humor -- when you don't think of it...

We ourselves of the present age, chose our common law, and consented to the most...

We ourselves of the present age, chose our common law, and consented to the most...

I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport...

I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport...

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my...

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my...

Almost everyone has or will experience getting dumped in their lifetime. Unless, of course, you're...

Almost everyone has or will experience getting dumped in their lifetime. Unless, of course, you're...

I do not know the American gentleman, God forgive me for putting two such words...

I do not know the American gentleman, God forgive me for putting two such words...

Analysing humour is like dissecting a frog few people are interested, and the frog dies.

Analysing humour is like dissecting a frog few people are interested, and the frog dies.

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way...

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way...

It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you're dead, you're made for...

It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you're dead, you're made for...

Age is only a number, a cipher for the records. A man can't retire his...

Age is only a number, a cipher for the records. A man can't retire his...

The golden age is before us, not behind us.

The golden age is before us, not behind us.

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is...

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is...

People joked that Forster became more renowned with every book he did not write.

People joked that Forster became more renowned with every book he did not write.