Eugene is located in western Oregon, approximately 278 billion miles from anything.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Dave Barry Quotes

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be...

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be...

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games...

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games...

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety...

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety...

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for...

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for...

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's...

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's...

If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its...

If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its...

A computer makes it possible to do, in half an hour, tasks which were completely...

A computer makes it possible to do, in half an hour, tasks which were completely...

I find myself having these conversations where I go...You know, the guy, in that place....

I find myself having these conversations where I go...You know, the guy, in that place....

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to...

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to...

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count...

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count...

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite...

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite...

Software is usually accompanied by documentation in the form of big fat scary manuals that...

Software is usually accompanied by documentation in the form of big fat scary manuals that...

I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are...

I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are...

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and...

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and...

The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize,...

I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize,...