The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Television Quotes

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from...

The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when...

A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when...

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.

I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are...

I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are...

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it,...

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it,...

A program is a spell cast over a computer, turning input into error messages

A program is a spell cast over a computer, turning input into error messages

The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.

The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.

The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the...

The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the...

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant...

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant...

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a...

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a...

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including...

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including...

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety...

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety...

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety...

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety...

I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.

I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.

If you were to open up a baby's head -- and I am not for...

If you were to open up a baby's head -- and I am not for...

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

Today I saw a baby with a bib that said 'This dumbass put my cape...

Today I saw a baby with a bib that said 'This dumbass put my cape...

Age is a tyrant who forbids at the penalty of life all the pleasures of...

Age is a tyrant who forbids at the penalty of life all the pleasures of...