The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Democracy Quotes

The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.

Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.

Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.

The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.

The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.

The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the...

The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the...

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks...

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks...

Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why?...

Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why?...

I find myself having these conversations where I go...You know, the guy, in that place....

I find myself having these conversations where I go...You know, the guy, in that place....

It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a...

It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a...

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as...

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as...

I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not...

I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not...

We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about...

We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about...

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely...

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely...

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined...

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined...

I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of...

I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of...

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games...

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games...

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is...

Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is...

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.