Television is a triumph of equipment over people and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart

Quote by Fred Allen

Topics: Television Quotes

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you...

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you...

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

Television is a triumph of equipment over people and the minds that control it are...

Television is a triumph of equipment over people and the minds that control it are...

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what...

I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what...

The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of...

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of...

Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group...

Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group...

When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the...

When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the...

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the...

The law isn't justice. It's a very imperfect mechanism. If you press exactly the right...

The law isn't justice. It's a very imperfect mechanism. If you press exactly the right...

Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. As a peacemaker the lawyer...

Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. As a peacemaker the lawyer...

The excitement of learning separates youth from old age. As long as youre learning, youre...

The excitement of learning separates youth from old age. As long as youre learning, youre...