Television is a triumph of equipment over people and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart

Quote by Fred Allen

Topics: Television Quotes

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the...

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the...

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if...

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if...

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a...

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the...

When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the...

The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy...

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy...

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when...

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when...

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known,...

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known,...

He writes so well he makes me feel like putting the quill back in the...

He writes so well he makes me feel like putting the quill back in the...

Today's audience knows more about what's on television than what's in life.

Today's audience knows more about what's on television than what's in life.

Television should be our Lyceum, our Chautauqua, our Minsky's and our Camelot.

Television should be our Lyceum, our Chautauqua, our Minsky's and our Camelot.

I don't like to watch golf on television because I can't stand people who whisper.

I don't like to watch golf on television because I can't stand people who whisper.