Television is a triumph of equipment over people and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart.

Quote by Fred Allen

Topics: Television Quotes

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a...

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of...

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of...

The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own...

The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own...

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually...

It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually...

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too...

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too...

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can...

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can...

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when...

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when...

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the...

When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the...

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.

The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.

A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...