I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap

Quote by Fred Allen

Topics: Family Quotes

The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on...

The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on...

The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

He writes so well he makes me feel like putting the quill back in the...

He writes so well he makes me feel like putting the quill back in the...

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission

Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group...

Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group...

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known,...

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known,...

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when...

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when...

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just...

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just...

I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.

I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare.

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare.

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?

Our age knows nothing but reaction, and leaps from one extreme to another.

Our age knows nothing but reaction, and leaps from one extreme to another.

A woman has the age she deserves.

A woman has the age she deserves.