People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want to be funny. I'm a comedian, not a political thinker. We're changing the world one factual error at a time.

Quote by Stephen Colbert

Topics: Comedy Quotes

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He...

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He...

As God said to Job, Checkmate

As God said to Job, Checkmate

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto...

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto...

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to...

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

I'm not a fan of facts. You see, facts can change, but my opinion will...

I'm not a fan of facts. You see, facts can change, but my opinion will...

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and...

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for...

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for...

Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to...

Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came...

Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came...

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled...

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled...