People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want to be funny. I'm a comedian, not a political thinker. We're changing the world one factual error at a time.

Quote by Stephen Colbert

Topics: Comedy Quotes

I'm not a fan of facts. You see, facts can change, but my opinion will...

I'm not a fan of facts. You see, facts can change, but my opinion will...

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled...

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts...

Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts...

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto...

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto...

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take...

You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take...

As God said to Job, Checkmate

As God said to Job, Checkmate

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no...

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came...

Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came...

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier...

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier...

God's eternal laws are kind-and break the heart of stone.

God's eternal laws are kind-and break the heart of stone.

The goal of science is to understand the fundamental reality and the goal of technology...

The goal of science is to understand the fundamental reality and the goal of technology...

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.

Statistics are no substitute for judgment

Statistics are no substitute for judgment