One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: Friendship Quotes, Funny Quotes

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters...

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters...

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in...

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is

The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it

I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good...

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good...

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will...

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough...

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough...

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider...

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider...

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof...

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof...

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

God seeks comrades and claims love, the Devil seeks slaves and claims obedience.

God seeks comrades and claims love, the Devil seeks slaves and claims obedience.

I have not lost faith in God. I have moments of anger and protest. Sometimes...

I have not lost faith in God. I have moments of anger and protest. Sometimes...