One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: Friendship Quotes, Funny Quotes

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As...

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As...

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters...

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters...

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience...

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience...

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone...

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone...

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad...

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad...

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to...

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

When someone is impatient and says, I haven't got all day, I always wonder, How...

When someone is impatient and says, I haven't got all day, I always wonder, How...

Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror

Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait...

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait...

Always do whatever's next.

Always do whatever's next.

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more...

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more...