One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: Friendship Quotes, Funny Quotes

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left...

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left...

Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do...

Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do...

The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is

The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I...

The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I...

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters...

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters...

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work

If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30...

What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to...

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to...

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next...

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next...

If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem

If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...

Were having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, were...

Were having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, were...

The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind...

The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind...

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.