On my income tax 1040 it says Check this box if you are blind. I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

Quote by Tom Lehrer

Topics: Tom Lehrer Quotes

On Christmas day you can't get sore, Your fellow man you must adore, There's time...

On Christmas day you can't get sore, Your fellow man you must adore, There's time...

All books can be indecent books, though recent books are bolder. For filth, I'm glad...

All books can be indecent books, though recent books are bolder. For filth, I'm glad...

I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.

I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.

I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.

I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.

All books can be indecent books, though recent books are bolder. For filth, I'm glad...

All books can be indecent books, though recent books are bolder. For filth, I'm glad...

When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex.

When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex.

Think as you work, for in the final analysis, your worth to your company comes...

Think as you work, for in the final analysis, your worth to your company comes...

In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now...

In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now...

The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do...

The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do...

Once all the Germans were warlike and mean But that couldn't happen again We taught...

Once all the Germans were warlike and mean But that couldn't happen again We taught...

If a person feels he can't communicate, the least he can do is shut up...

If a person feels he can't communicate, the least he can do is shut up...

Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your .

Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your .

If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a...

If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a...

Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you...

Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you...

Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one...

Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one...

An actress must never lose her ego - without it she has no talent.

An actress must never lose her ego - without it she has no talent.

When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex.

When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex.

I didn't forget your breakfast. I didn't bring your breakfast. Because you didn't eat your...

I didn't forget your breakfast. I didn't bring your breakfast. Because you didn't eat your...

Tomatoes and oregano make it Italian; wine and tarragon make it French. Sour cream makes...

Tomatoes and oregano make it Italian; wine and tarragon make it French. Sour cream makes...

Nothing will benefit human health and increase the chances for survival of life on Earth...

Nothing will benefit human health and increase the chances for survival of life on Earth...

When sex is good theres nothing better, when its bad its not bad.

When sex is good theres nothing better, when its bad its not bad.