On my income tax 1040 it says Check this box if you are blind. I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

Quote by Tom Lehrer

Topics: Tom Lehrer Quotes

In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now...

In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now...

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I...

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I...

When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex.

When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex.

If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a...

If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a...

In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now...

In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now...

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead...

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead...

An actress must never lose her ego - without it she has no talent.

An actress must never lose her ego - without it she has no talent.

If a person feels he can't communicate, the least he can do is shut up...

If a person feels he can't communicate, the least he can do is shut up...

All books can be indecent books, though recent books are bolder. For filth, I'm glad...

All books can be indecent books, though recent books are bolder. For filth, I'm glad...

All books can be indecent books, though recent books are bolder. For filth, I'm glad...

All books can be indecent books, though recent books are bolder. For filth, I'm glad...

Bad weather always looks worse through a window.

Bad weather always looks worse through a window.

On Christmas day you can't get sore, Your fellow man you must adore, There's time...

On Christmas day you can't get sore, Your fellow man you must adore, There's time...

The Army has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they...

The Army has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they...

Once all the Germans were warlike and mean But that couldn't happen again We taught...

Once all the Germans were warlike and mean But that couldn't happen again We taught...

Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one...

Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one...

The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do...

The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do...

If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a...

If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a...

An actress must never lose her ego - without it she has no talent.

An actress must never lose her ego - without it she has no talent.

Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?

Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?

I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do...

I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do...