On my income tax 1040 it says Check this box if you are blind. I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

Quote by Tom Lehrer

Topics: Tom Lehrer Quotes

Think as you work, for in the final analysis, your worth to your company comes...

Think as you work, for in the final analysis, your worth to your company comes...

Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?

Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?

I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.

I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.

When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex.

When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex.

In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now...

In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now...

If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a...

If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a...

I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do...

I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do...

The Army has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they...

The Army has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they...

All books can be indecent books, though recent books are bolder. For filth, I'm glad...

All books can be indecent books, though recent books are bolder. For filth, I'm glad...

Bad weather always looks worse through a window.

Bad weather always looks worse through a window.

If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a...

If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a...

Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you...

Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you...

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead...

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead...

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I...

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I...

It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been...

It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been...

Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one...

Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one...

On Christmas day you can't get sore, Your fellow man you must adore, There's time...

On Christmas day you can't get sore, Your fellow man you must adore, There's time...

I just want an honest relationship. No lies. No mind games. No cheating.

I just want an honest relationship. No lies. No mind games. No cheating.

If he is cheating with you, what makes you think he won't cheat on you...

If he is cheating with you, what makes you think he won't cheat on you...

Cheating on a good woman is like failing an open book test.

Cheating on a good woman is like failing an open book test.

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.