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The Army has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they...
#Tom Lehrer
Think as you work, for in the final analysis, your worth to your company comes...
#Tom Lehrer
An actress must never lose her ego - without it she has no talent.
#Tom Lehrer
Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?
#Tom Lehrer
Bad weather always looks worse through a window.
#Tom Lehrer
Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one...
#Tom Lehrer
Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your .
#Tom Lehrer
I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do...
#Tom Lehrer
I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.
#Tom Lehrer
If a person feels he can't communicate, the least he can do is shut up...
#Tom Lehrer
In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now...
#Tom Lehrer
It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been...
#Tom Lehrer
Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you...
#Tom Lehrer
Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you...
#Tom Lehrer
On my income tax 1040 it says Check this box if you are blind. I...
#Tom Lehrer