Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is reading my column.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Dave Barry Quotes

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety...

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety...

If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.

If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.

My son does not appreciate classical musicians such as the Stones; he is more into...

My son does not appreciate classical musicians such as the Stones; he is more into...

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it,...

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it,...

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be...

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be...

I regularly read Internet user groups filled with messages from people trying to solve software...

I regularly read Internet user groups filled with messages from people trying to solve software...

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to...

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to...

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of...

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of...

The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye...

The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye...

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including...

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including...

The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.

The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it,...

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it,...

The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the...

The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the...

Software is usually accompanied by documentation in the form of big fat scary manuals that...

Software is usually accompanied by documentation in the form of big fat scary manuals that...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since...

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since...

We have neither the pretension to solve all the problems of these deaf children nor...

We have neither the pretension to solve all the problems of these deaf children nor...

Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood.

Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

In case you haven't heard, the Internet is not a superhighway.

In case you haven't heard, the Internet is not a superhighway.