Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is reading my column.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Dave Barry Quotes

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take...

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take...

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety...

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety...

To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the...

To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the...

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined...

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined...

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of...

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of...

The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.

The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has...

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has...

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a...

It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a...

And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a...

And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a...

Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage...

Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage...

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of...

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of...

If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.

If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.

The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be...

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be...

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...

Communicate to man with respect. Communicate to a woman with love. This could stop a...

Communicate to man with respect. Communicate to a woman with love. This could stop a...

I have heard many arguments which influenced my opinion, but never one which influenced my...

I have heard many arguments which influenced my opinion, but never one which influenced my...

People are generally better persuaded by the reasons which they have themselves discovered than by...

People are generally better persuaded by the reasons which they have themselves discovered than by...