Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is reading my column.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Dave Barry Quotes

The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally...

The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally...

I've noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child...

I've noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child...

If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.

If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the...

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the...

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads,...

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads,...

Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This...

Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This...

1996 also saw a huge expansion of the Internet, with many major corporations, afraid of...

1996 also saw a huge expansion of the Internet, with many major corporations, afraid of...

The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about...

The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about...

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

A program is a spell cast over a computer, turning input into error messages

A program is a spell cast over a computer, turning input into error messages

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in...

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in...

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite...

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite...

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for...

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for...

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since...

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since...

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.

We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who...

We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who...

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on...

I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on...

I am perhaps the oldest musician in the world. I am an old man but...

I am perhaps the oldest musician in the world. I am an old man but...

A truly great book should be read in youth, again in maturity and once more...

A truly great book should be read in youth, again in maturity and once more...