What use is it to endure the Dutch Rubs and Indian Rope Burns that are politics if you can't obtain mastery over people and give them noogies back?

Quote by P J O'Rourke

Topics: Politics Quotes

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and...

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and...

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

Never fight an inanimate object.

Never fight an inanimate object.

Newsmen believe that news is a tacitly acknowledged fourth branch of the federal system. This...

Newsmen believe that news is a tacitly acknowledged fourth branch of the federal system. This...

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them...

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them...

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores...

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for...

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for...

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them...

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death...

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death...

The government is huge, stupid, greedy and makes nosy, officious and dangerous intrusions into the...

The government is huge, stupid, greedy and makes nosy, officious and dangerous intrusions into the...

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and...

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and...

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand,...

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand,...

Newsmen believe that news is a tacitly acknowledged fourth branch of the federal system. This...

Newsmen believe that news is a tacitly acknowledged fourth branch of the federal system. This...

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

As to the myth about Fat Girls and certain abilities to achieve multiple...ummm...my only comment...

As to the myth about Fat Girls and certain abilities to achieve multiple...ummm...my only comment...

When women go wrong, men go right after them.

When women go wrong, men go right after them.

I have tried sex with both men and women. I found I liked it.

I have tried sex with both men and women. I found I liked it.