Never wear anything that panics the cat.

Quote by P J O'Rourke

Topics: Funny Quotes

Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the...

Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the...

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for...

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for...

The government is huge, stupid, greedy and makes nosy, officious and dangerous intrusions into the...

The government is huge, stupid, greedy and makes nosy, officious and dangerous intrusions into the...

What use is it to endure the Dutch Rubs and Indian Rope Burns that are...

What use is it to endure the Dutch Rubs and Indian Rope Burns that are...

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

Newsmen believe that news is a tacitly acknowledged fourth branch of the federal system. This...

Newsmen believe that news is a tacitly acknowledged fourth branch of the federal system. This...

Never fight an inanimate object.

Never fight an inanimate object.

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores...

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores...

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health,...

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health,...

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative....

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative....

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand,...

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand,...

I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television...

I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television...

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them...

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them...

It is not the function of our Government to keep the citizen from falling into...

It is not the function of our Government to keep the citizen from falling into...

Whenever you have efficient government, you have a dictatorship.

Whenever you have efficient government, you have a dictatorship.

The one irrefutable lesson of the entire postwar period [is] contradicting the notion that rigid...

The one irrefutable lesson of the entire postwar period [is] contradicting the notion that rigid...