Never wear anything that panics the cat.

Quote by P J O'Rourke

Topics: Funny Quotes

Newsmen believe that news is a tacitly acknowledged fourth branch of the federal system. This...

Newsmen believe that news is a tacitly acknowledged fourth branch of the federal system. This...

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

What use is it to endure the Dutch Rubs and Indian Rope Burns that are...

What use is it to endure the Dutch Rubs and Indian Rope Burns that are...

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief...

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief...

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for...

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for...

I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television...

I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television...

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them...

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them...

Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the...

Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the...

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death...

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death...

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them...

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them...

When a couple decide to divorce, they should inform both sets of parents before having...

When a couple decide to divorce, they should inform both sets of parents before having...

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and...

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and...

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

Never fight an inanimate object.

Never fight an inanimate object.

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

Never fight an inanimate object.

Never fight an inanimate object.

Men and women approaching retirement age should be recycled for public service work, and their...

Men and women approaching retirement age should be recycled for public service work, and their...

My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.

My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.

When youre up to your armpits in alligators, its hard to remember to drain the...

When youre up to your armpits in alligators, its hard to remember to drain the...