Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?

Quote by Dennis Miller

Topics: Money Quotes

Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply...

Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply...

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found...

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found...

And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers...

And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers...

Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red...

Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red...

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a...

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a...

I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're...

I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're...

Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to...

Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to...

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

I rant, therefore I am.

I rant, therefore I am.

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out...

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out...

It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time;...

It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time;...

I've always loved the flirtatious tango of consonants and vowels, the sturdy dependability of nouns...

I've always loved the flirtatious tango of consonants and vowels, the sturdy dependability of nouns...

If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't...

If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't...

A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks....

A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks....

What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our...

What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our...

What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps...

What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps...

I lapsed into rude.

I lapsed into rude.