My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

Quote by Eric Morecambe

Topics: Funny Quotes, Neighbors Quotes

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course...

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course...

I'm playing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.

I'm playing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.

Together with script writers Syd green and Dick Hills, we worked on the comedy ideas...

Together with script writers Syd green and Dick Hills, we worked on the comedy ideas...

We had not had time to establish ourselves as a double act before Ernie joined...

We had not had time to establish ourselves as a double act before Ernie joined...

I am playing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.

I am playing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.

Man has no Body distinct from his Soul; for that called Body is a portion...

Man has no Body distinct from his Soul; for that called Body is a portion...

The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife.

The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife.

My girlfriend always laughs during sex -- no matter what she's reading.

My girlfriend always laughs during sex -- no matter what she's reading.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

Everyday took an age to go by, which was odd, because days plural went past...

Everyday took an age to go by, which was odd, because days plural went past...

Save a boyfriend for a rainy dayand another, in case it doesn't rain.

Save a boyfriend for a rainy dayand another, in case it doesn't rain.

For me there are only two type of women: goddesses and doormats.

For me there are only two type of women: goddesses and doormats.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

There are some men who lift the age they inhabit, till all men walk on...

There are some men who lift the age they inhabit, till all men walk on...

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not,...

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not,...

An ugly baby is a very nasty object - and the prettiest is frightful.

An ugly baby is a very nasty object - and the prettiest is frightful.

It's so great to find that one special person You want to annoy for the...

It's so great to find that one special person You want to annoy for the...

Ive come to the conclusion that Mondays last 50% longer than the other days...each.

Ive come to the conclusion that Mondays last 50% longer than the other days...each.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the...

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the...

I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.

I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.

I'd worship the ground you walked on if only you walked in a better neighborhood.

I'd worship the ground you walked on if only you walked in a better neighborhood.