My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

Quote by Eric Morecambe

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

Together with script writers Syd green and Dick Hills, we worked on the comedy ideas...

Together with script writers Syd green and Dick Hills, we worked on the comedy ideas...

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course...

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course...

I am playing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.

I am playing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.

We had not had time to establish ourselves as a double act before Ernie joined...

We had not had time to establish ourselves as a double act before Ernie joined...

I'm playing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.

I'm playing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and...

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and...

Must then Christ perish in torment in every age to save those that have no...

Must then Christ perish in torment in every age to save those that have no...

This film cost $31 million. With that kind of money I could have invaded some...

This film cost $31 million. With that kind of money I could have invaded some...

Consider what you have in the smallest chosen library: a company of the wisest and...

Consider what you have in the smallest chosen library: a company of the wisest and...

So one day as a kid I was at the local Zoo. I was bored...

So one day as a kid I was at the local Zoo. I was bored...

After a day spent staring at a computer monitor, think of (a) book as a...

After a day spent staring at a computer monitor, think of (a) book as a...

Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it.

Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it.

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.

I like children - fried.

I like children - fried.

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!

Youth is a blunder; manhood a struggle; old age a regret.

Youth is a blunder; manhood a struggle; old age a regret.

Two people getting together to write a book is like three people getting together to...

Two people getting together to write a book is like three people getting together to...

I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it...

I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it...