My ex-girlfriend had a really weird fetish. She used to like to dress up as herself and then act like a f*ckin' bitch all the time.

Quote by Bo Burnham

Topics: Comedy Quotes, Ex Girlfriend Quotes

Dick's and vagina's are like Coke and Pepsi, I strongly prefer one but my dad...

Dick's and vagina's are like Coke and Pepsi, I strongly prefer one but my dad...

Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it's really fun to do and Oprah's...

Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it's really fun to do and Oprah's...

And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.

And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.

Where are all the sour patch parents?

Where are all the sour patch parents?

My whole family thinks I'm gay, I guess it's always been that way. Maybe it's...

My whole family thinks I'm gay, I guess it's always been that way. Maybe it's...

And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? an ironic way to die.

And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? an ironic way to die.

Humour is often linked to shared experience. Like, a guy gets up and says, Have...

Humour is often linked to shared experience. Like, a guy gets up and says, Have...

Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles...

Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles...

And there's a metal train that's a mile long and at the very back end...

And there's a metal train that's a mile long and at the very back end...

YouTube is a place for people to share their ideas. If by people you mean...

YouTube is a place for people to share their ideas. If by people you mean...

There's a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a...

There's a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a...

I'm constipated, couldn't give a shit.

I'm constipated, couldn't give a shit.

For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.

For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.

What's a bag of chips divided by five, that's a Nike worker's meal.

What's a bag of chips divided by five, that's a Nike worker's meal.

Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.

Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.

Was Einstein's theory good? Relatively.

Was Einstein's theory good? Relatively.

And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese,...

And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese,...

When life give you lemons... you probably just found lemons.

When life give you lemons... you probably just found lemons.

And if you made a factor tree of the factors that caused my girl to...

And if you made a factor tree of the factors that caused my girl to...

I'm Bo yo I'm the greatest rapper ever ever and I'll whether you weather, whether...

I'm Bo yo I'm the greatest rapper ever ever and I'll whether you weather, whether...