That awkward moment when you name your child 'Christian' only for him to grow up to be an atheist.

Topics: Atheist Quotes, Funny Quotes

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always...

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always...

Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures success through its ability to stick to...

Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures success through its ability to stick to...

Females : they hate it when you ask their age, but they'll kill you if...

Females : they hate it when you ask their age, but they'll kill you if...

I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the...

I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the...

Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.

Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.

You cant fight in here, this is the War Room!

You cant fight in here, this is the War Room!

We are not limited by our old age; we are liberated by it.

We are not limited by our old age; we are liberated by it.

People say you can't live without love...I think oxygen is more important.

People say you can't live without love...I think oxygen is more important.

A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day. Stopping her...

A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day. Stopping her...

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I...

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I...

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

The passions grafted on wounded pride are the most inveterate; they are green and vigorous...

The passions grafted on wounded pride are the most inveterate; they are green and vigorous...

A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd.

A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd.

I have something here for you. Your father wanted you to have this when you...

I have something here for you. Your father wanted you to have this when you...

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Old wine and friends improve with age.

Old wine and friends improve with age.

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people...

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people...