Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you

Quote by Ogden Nash

Topics: Age Quotes, Ageing Quotes, Funny Quotes, Priorities Quotes

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.

Children aren't happy without something to ignore, And that's what parents were created for.

Children aren't happy without something to ignore, And that's what parents were created for.

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so...

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so...

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave, when they think their children are naÃ¯ve.

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave, when they think their children are naÃ¯ve.

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an...

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an...

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick...

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick...

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick...

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick...

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.

I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless...

I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless...

There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that...

There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that...

Hark to the whimper of the seagull. / He weeps because he's not an ea-gull....

Hark to the whimper of the seagull. / He weeps because he's not an ea-gull....

Never befriend the oppressed unless you are prepared to take on the oppressor

Never befriend the oppressed unless you are prepared to take on the oppressor

Women would rather be right than reasonable.

Women would rather be right than reasonable.

I get to be a kid now, because I wasn't a kid when I was...

I get to be a kid now, because I wasn't a kid when I was...

She (a woman politician) will be challenging a system that is still wedded to militarism...

She (a woman politician) will be challenging a system that is still wedded to militarism...

Drama is based on the Mistake. I think someone is my friend when he really...

Drama is based on the Mistake. I think someone is my friend when he really...