Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you

Quote by Ogden Nash

Topics: Age Quotes, Ageing Quotes, Funny Quotes, Priorities Quotes

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you...

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you...

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick...

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick...

Daybreak is one of the greatest disadvantages of living under the solar system: It means...

Daybreak is one of the greatest disadvantages of living under the solar system: It means...

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet...

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet...

Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of...

Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of...

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the...

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the...

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we...

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we...

An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a...

An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a...

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

Children aren't happy without something to ignore, And that's what parents were created for.

Children aren't happy without something to ignore, And that's what parents were created for.

Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as...

Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as...

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so...

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so...

Too clever is dumb.

Too clever is dumb.

When I look at you every aged phrase is new, and there are moments when...

When I look at you every aged phrase is new, and there are moments when...

Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked, in which you can walk with love and...

Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked, in which you can walk with love and...

I have got a running stream of love you see. So no matter what stages.....

I have got a running stream of love you see. So no matter what stages.....