Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you

Quote by Ogden Nash

Topics: Age Quotes, Ageing Quotes, Funny Quotes, Priorities Quotes

Hark to the whimper of the seagull. / He weeps because he's not an ea-gull....

Hark to the whimper of the seagull. / He weeps because he's not an ea-gull....

Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as...

Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as...

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet...

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet...

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an...

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an...

I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to...

I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to...

They take the paper and they read the headlines, so they've heard of unemployment and...

They take the paper and they read the headlines, so they've heard of unemployment and...

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the...

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the...

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick...

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick...

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit...

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit...

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

Love is a word that is constantly heard, Hate is a word that is not....

Love is a word that is constantly heard, Hate is a word that is not....

Too clever is dumb.

Too clever is dumb.

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone...

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone...

When I look at you every aged phrase is new, and there are moments when...

When I look at you every aged phrase is new, and there are moments when...

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are...

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are...

Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.

Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness...

What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness...

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in...

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in...