Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you
Quote by Ogden Nash
Too clever is dumb.
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
Hark to the whimper of the seagull. / He weeps because he's not an ea-gull....
Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.
They take the paper and they read the headlines, so they've heard of unemployment and...
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick...
Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are...
I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.
The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.
To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit...
The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we...
Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.
Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as...
Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny -...
I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making...
If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so...
French wine growers fear that this year's vintage may be entirely spoiled due to the...
To me, life is like the back nine in golf. Sometimes you play better on...
Method is the very hinge of business, and there is no method without punctuality