Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you

Quote by Ogden Nash

Topics: Age Quotes, Ageing Quotes, Funny Quotes, Priorities Quotes

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Door: What a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

Door: What a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

Daybreak is one of the greatest disadvantages of living under the solar system: It means...

Daybreak is one of the greatest disadvantages of living under the solar system: It means...

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.

Hark to the whimper of the seagull. / He weeps because he's not an ea-gull....

Hark to the whimper of the seagull. / He weeps because he's not an ea-gull....

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so...

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so...

The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.

The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so...

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so...

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny -...

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny -...

I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to...

I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to...

Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to...

Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to...

The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.

The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you...

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you...

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence

Remorse is the pain of sin

Remorse is the pain of sin

Remorse is the echo of a lost virtue

Remorse is the echo of a lost virtue