Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

Topics: Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little...

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little...

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the...

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the...

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they...

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they...

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to...

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to...

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I...

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I...

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top...

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top...

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a...

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a...

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the...

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the...

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they...

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they...

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always...

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always...

Nobody sees people as people. It's all how they relate to my little group.

Nobody sees people as people. It's all how they relate to my little group.

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

There are no adequate substitutes for father, mother, and children bound together in a loving...

There are no adequate substitutes for father, mother, and children bound together in a loving...

If you can't afford taking your kids to the Zoo, try taking them to Wal-Mart...its...

If you can't afford taking your kids to the Zoo, try taking them to Wal-Mart...its...

No law is quite appropriate for all

No law is quite appropriate for all

The old philosophy was that parents, especially mothers, caused their kids to become schizophrenic. Now...

The old philosophy was that parents, especially mothers, caused their kids to become schizophrenic. Now...