The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.

Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

Topics: Doing Your Best Quotes, Men And Women Quotes

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little...

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little...

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to...

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to...

Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are...

Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are...

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always...

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always...

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as...

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as...

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I...

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I...

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the...

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the...

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a...

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a...

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always...

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always...

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing....

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing....

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's...

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's...

To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to...

To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to...

Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace...

Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace...