I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

Quote by George Gobel

Topics: Drink Quotes, Funny Quotes

My uncle was the town drunk - and we lived in Chicago.

My uncle was the town drunk - and we lived in Chicago.

If you build a better mousetrap, you will catch better mice.

If you build a better mousetrap, you will catch better mice.

If inflation continues to soar, you're going to have to work like a dog just...

If inflation continues to soar, you're going to have to work like a dog just...

Did you ever get the feeling that the world was a tuxedo and you were...

Did you ever get the feeling that the world was a tuxedo and you were...

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.

Due tomorrow...means do tomorrow.

Due tomorrow...means do tomorrow.

One of the great mind destroyers of college education is the belief that if it's...

One of the great mind destroyers of college education is the belief that if it's...

If you tell folks you're a college student, folks are so impressed. You can be...

If you tell folks you're a college student, folks are so impressed. You can be...

My undergraduate education, at the City College in New York, was made possible only by...

My undergraduate education, at the City College in New York, was made possible only by...

There should be an 'I Don't Know' option on a test so I can be...

There should be an 'I Don't Know' option on a test so I can be...

A good college is like unprotected sex: Glad you got in, wish you never came.

A good college is like unprotected sex: Glad you got in, wish you never came.

Students, with the beginning of the new semester, remember; Good grades, enough sleep, a social...

Students, with the beginning of the new semester, remember; Good grades, enough sleep, a social...

Last year, we had a lot of ups and downs. But as a team we...

Last year, we had a lot of ups and downs. But as a team we...

I had one of my good friends kicked out of college for domestic violence. He...

I had one of my good friends kicked out of college for domestic violence. He...

Seeing the first question on a test and thinking, 'Yup...I'm screwed.'

Seeing the first question on a test and thinking, 'Yup...I'm screwed.'

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.

How you play the game is for college ball. When you're playing for money, winning...

How you play the game is for college ball. When you're playing for money, winning...

Successful colleges will start laying plans for a new stadium; unsuccessful ones will start hunting...

Successful colleges will start laying plans for a new stadium; unsuccessful ones will start hunting...

Dear person who finishes test in 10 minutes, I HOPE YOU FAIL! Sincerely, still on...

Dear person who finishes test in 10 minutes, I HOPE YOU FAIL! Sincerely, still on...

I could never learn what Im learning at college. They dont teach it there, because...

I could never learn what Im learning at college. They dont teach it there, because...