I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

Quote by George Gobel

Topics: Drink Quotes, Funny Quotes

My uncle was the town drunk - and we lived in Chicago.

My uncle was the town drunk - and we lived in Chicago.

If inflation continues to soar, you're going to have to work like a dog just...

If inflation continues to soar, you're going to have to work like a dog just...

If you build a better mousetrap, you will catch better mice.

If you build a better mousetrap, you will catch better mice.

Did you ever get the feeling that the world was a tuxedo and you were...

Did you ever get the feeling that the world was a tuxedo and you were...

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.

We changed the names of our technical schools to colleges, we expanded the eligibility for...

We changed the names of our technical schools to colleges, we expanded the eligibility for...

If the professor doesn't show up to class in the first 15 minutes, you get...

If the professor doesn't show up to class in the first 15 minutes, you get...

I even lived on campus to get the college experience. I had five roommates and...

I even lived on campus to get the college experience. I had five roommates and...

'Hey can I borrow a pencil?' 'Yeah but it doesn't have an eraser.' 'Life doesn't...

'Hey can I borrow a pencil?' 'Yeah but it doesn't have an eraser.' 'Life doesn't...

That f*ck my life moment when the only answers you know on the test are...

That f*ck my life moment when the only answers you know on the test are...

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

Most things I worry about never happen anyway.

Most things I worry about never happen anyway.

On the other side of the handrail, the hallway's gray marble floor looks as if...

On the other side of the handrail, the hallway's gray marble floor looks as if...

If I'd stayed at college I would have become a teacher.

If I'd stayed at college I would have become a teacher.

If you don't give your kid freedom to make choices with money, including stupid choices,...

If you don't give your kid freedom to make choices with money, including stupid choices,...

There should be an 'I Don't Know' option on a test so I can be...

There should be an 'I Don't Know' option on a test so I can be...

College is the only time in which being poor and drunk is acceptable.

College is the only time in which being poor and drunk is acceptable.

Claude Hopkins... maintained that nobody with a college education could write an advertisement addressed to...

Claude Hopkins... maintained that nobody with a college education could write an advertisement addressed to...

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

One of the great mind destroyers of college education is the belief that if it's...

One of the great mind destroyers of college education is the belief that if it's...