I've got all the money I'll ever need; if I die by four O'clock.

Quote by Henry Youngman

Topics: Money Quotes

I've got all the money I'll ever need; if I die by four O'clock

I've got all the money I'll ever need; if I die by four O'clock

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my...

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my...

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up they have no holidays.

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up they have no holidays.

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, 'There's water in the...

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, 'There's water in the...

Those bellhops in Miami are tip-happy. I ordered a deck of playing cards and the...

Those bellhops in Miami are tip-happy. I ordered a deck of playing cards and the...

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I...

I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I...

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds...

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds...

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to...

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to...

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot...

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot...

Sound, sound the clarion, fill the fife, Throughout the sensual world proclaim, One crowded hour...

Sound, sound the clarion, fill the fife, Throughout the sensual world proclaim, One crowded hour...

There are worse occupations in this world than feeling a woman's pulse.

There are worse occupations in this world than feeling a woman's pulse.

During a test when the teacher passes by, you cover your answers with your hand...

During a test when the teacher passes by, you cover your answers with your hand...