It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Quote by Rita Rudner

Topics: Rita Rudner Quotes

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same...

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same...

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is:...

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is:...

I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new...

I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new...

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.

Beer is good food

Beer is good food

Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother's tasted better the day before

Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother's tasted better the day before

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to...

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to...

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've...

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've...

I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears...

I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears...

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced...

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced...

Men who tell you they read the Ann Summers catalogue for the articles are lying.

Men who tell you they read the Ann Summers catalogue for the articles are lying.

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them...

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them...

Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I...

Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I...

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to...

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to...

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told...

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told...

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want...

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want...

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be...

I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be...

Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground.

Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground.

In childhood be modest, in youth temperate, in adulthood just, and in old age prudent.

In childhood be modest, in youth temperate, in adulthood just, and in old age prudent.