It's a bird! It's a plane! Oh wait..It's the flying f*ck I will never give.

Topics: Facebook Status Quotes

Turning on the TV: 10% to watch shows and 90% to use it as background...

Turning on the TV: 10% to watch shows and 90% to use it as background...

Listening to someone telling a story and thinking to yourself, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie,...

Listening to someone telling a story and thinking to yourself, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie,...

Daydreaming while you're reading, then having to re-read what you just read.

Daydreaming while you're reading, then having to re-read what you just read.

That terrible moment when you are halfway across the room with the food you just...

That terrible moment when you are halfway across the room with the food you just...

It's better to lose a lover than love a loser.

It's better to lose a lover than love a loser.

If I am ever in the middle of a shooting, i'll just lay on the...

If I am ever in the middle of a shooting, i'll just lay on the...

It's a Facebook status not a diary. Learn the difference....

It's a Facebook status not a diary. Learn the difference....

Don't worry about who I'm with in my space time if you're not working on...

Don't worry about who I'm with in my space time if you're not working on...

Dr: Are you sexually active? Me: Yes I'm a Facebook whore.

Dr: Are you sexually active? Me: Yes I'm a Facebook whore.

Texting me with a signature, just got you added to the block list. Have a...

Texting me with a signature, just got you added to the block list. Have a...

The prettiest smiles hide the deepest secrets. The prettiest eyes have cried the most tears...

The prettiest smiles hide the deepest secrets. The prettiest eyes have cried the most tears...

Just because you're single does not give you an excuse to be a hoe.

Just because you're single does not give you an excuse to be a hoe.

That awkward moment when you don't want to come out of your room because there...

That awkward moment when you don't want to come out of your room because there...

Dear food commercials, Nobody eats in slow motion with their eyes closed. Sincerely, normal people...

Dear food commercials, Nobody eats in slow motion with their eyes closed. Sincerely, normal people...

S(he's) br(ok)en be(cause) s(he) be(lie)ve(d).

S(he's) br(ok)en be(cause) s(he) be(lie)ve(d).

Even if you aren't hungry, the worst thing you can be told after a dentist...

Even if you aren't hungry, the worst thing you can be told after a dentist...

Dear boys, If you don't look like Calvin Klein models, don't expect us to look...

Dear boys, If you don't look like Calvin Klein models, don't expect us to look...

That moment when you are trapped in the corner of your shower because the cold...

That moment when you are trapped in the corner of your shower because the cold...