Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was…

Quote by Bill Maher

Topics: Bill Maher Quotes

Suicide is man's way of telling God, You can't fire me - I quit

Suicide is man's way of telling God, You can't fire me - I quit

I was watching Ashlee Simpson on Jay's show last night... She was really singing, and...

I was watching Ashlee Simpson on Jay's show last night... She was really singing, and...

NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new...

NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new...

NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new...

NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new...

I think religion is bad and drugs are good.

I think religion is bad and drugs are good.

If you were on a sinking ship and yelled, Women and children first! how much...

If you were on a sinking ship and yelled, Women and children first! how much...

This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich...

This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich...

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he...

Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he...

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to...

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to...

We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying...

We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying...

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.

When we make mistakes they call it evil

When we make mistakes they call it evil

What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country.

What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country.

To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's...

To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's...

I would describe my spirituality as exactly the opposite of having a religious affiliation.

I would describe my spirituality as exactly the opposite of having a religious affiliation.

The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed...

The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed...

Surround yourself with the best people you can find, delegate authority, and dont interfere

Surround yourself with the best people you can find, delegate authority, and dont interfere

The highest duty is to respect authority

The highest duty is to respect authority

Authority forgets a dying king

Authority forgets a dying king

The great comfort of turning 49 is the realization that you are now too old...

The great comfort of turning 49 is the realization that you are now too old...