I'll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go out to buy new ones.

Topics: Funny Quotes, Funny Facebook Status Quotes

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the...

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the...

We tried not to age, but Time had its rage.

We tried not to age, but Time had its rage.

I don't know, he seems kind of hairy and slobbery to me.

I don't know, he seems kind of hairy and slobbery to me.

The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.

The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.

At your age The hey-day in the blood is tame, it's humble.

At your age The hey-day in the blood is tame, it's humble.

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.

The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.

The golden age is before us, not behind us.

The golden age is before us, not behind us.

I would there were no age between ten and three-and-twenty, or that youth would sleep...

I would there were no age between ten and three-and-twenty, or that youth would sleep...

Improvement makes strait roads: but the crooked roads without Improvement are roads of Genius.

Improvement makes strait roads: but the crooked roads without Improvement are roads of Genius.

Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old...

Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old...

Weekends don't pay as well as weekdays but at least there's football.

Weekends don't pay as well as weekdays but at least there's football.

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but...

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but...

I was on a game show. When I lost, they gave me a lovely parting...

I was on a game show. When I lost, they gave me a lovely parting...

No amount of ability is of the slightest avail without honor.

No amount of ability is of the slightest avail without honor.

It's only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny...

It's only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny...

I probably could stand a chance on American Idol if I could bring my shower...

I probably could stand a chance on American Idol if I could bring my shower...

Sometimes when my internet is down I forget the rest of my computer still works....

Sometimes when my internet is down I forget the rest of my computer still works....