I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

Quote by David Lee Roth

Topics: Funny Quotes

It doesn't get better, it doesn't get worse, but it sure gets different!

It doesn't get better, it doesn't get worse, but it sure gets different!

A lot of rock bands are truly a legend in their own minds.

A lot of rock bands are truly a legend in their own minds.

When you get something like MTV, it's like regular television. You get it, and at...

When you get something like MTV, it's like regular television. You get it, and at...

The problem with self-improvement is knowing when to quit.

The problem with self-improvement is knowing when to quit.

He who knows how will always work for he who knows why.

He who knows how will always work for he who knows why.

I used to have a drug problem, now I make enough money.

I used to have a drug problem, now I make enough money.

People ask me how far I've come. And I tell them twelve feet: from the...

People ask me how far I've come. And I tell them twelve feet: from the...

You stick your head above the crowd and attract attention and sometimes somebody will throw...

You stick your head above the crowd and attract attention and sometimes somebody will throw...

Music is like girlfriends to me; I'm continually astonished by the choices other people make.

Music is like girlfriends to me; I'm continually astonished by the choices other people make.

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to...

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to...

Rap is poetry to music, like beatniks without beards and bongos.

Rap is poetry to music, like beatniks without beards and bongos.

I used to have a drug problem, now I make enough money.

I used to have a drug problem, now I make enough money.

The world's a stage, and I want the brightest spot.

The world's a stage, and I want the brightest spot.

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an...

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an...