If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.

Quote by George Burns

Topics: Age Quotes

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman -...

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman -...

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper...

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper...

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and...

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and...

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember...

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember...

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what...

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what...

How can I die? I'm booked.

How can I die? I'm booked.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

Its hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

Its hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

Im a musician first, a food-lover second, a dirty mouth with feet, and a girl...

Im a musician first, a food-lover second, a dirty mouth with feet, and a girl...

Some of the dirtiest dogs, past and present, had mothers.

Some of the dirtiest dogs, past and present, had mothers.

Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and...

Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and...

I shall call him squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my...

I shall call him squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my...