If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.

Quote by Joey Adams

Topics: Joey Adams Quotes

Rockefeller once explained the secret of success. 'Get up early, work late - and strike...

Rockefeller once explained the secret of success. 'Get up early, work late - and strike...

Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does.

Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does.

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.

Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife...

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife...

May all your troubles last as long as your New Years resolutions!

May all your troubles last as long as your New Years resolutions!

The difference between playing the stock market and the horses is that one of the...

The difference between playing the stock market and the horses is that one of the...

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions!

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions!

If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so...

If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so...

People are still willing to do an honest day's work. The trouble is they want...

People are still willing to do an honest day's work. The trouble is they want...

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.

Most people play a fair game of golf - If you watch them.

Most people play a fair game of golf - If you watch them.

Of course, it's very easy to be witty tomorrow, after you get a chance to...

Of course, it's very easy to be witty tomorrow, after you get a chance to...

There are two ways to do great mathematics. The first is to be smarter than...

There are two ways to do great mathematics. The first is to be smarter than...

The newer people, of this modern age, are more eager to amass than to realize.

The newer people, of this modern age, are more eager to amass than to realize.

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He...

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He...

Baseball is very big with my people. It figures. It's the only way we can...

Baseball is very big with my people. It figures. It's the only way we can...

If you think Independence Day is Americas defining holiday, think again. Thanksgiving deserves that title,...

If you think Independence Day is Americas defining holiday, think again. Thanksgiving deserves that title,...

Judges ought to be more leaned than witty, more reverent than plausible, and more advised...

Judges ought to be more leaned than witty, more reverent than plausible, and more advised...