If I wanted to have wooden sex with strings attached I'd get married. In reference to the movie Team America in which puppets appear to have sex.

Quote by Bill Maher

Topics: Movies Quotes

Suicide is man's way of telling God, You can't fire me - I quit

Suicide is man's way of telling God, You can't fire me - I quit

We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.

We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.

Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make...

Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make...

Suicide is man's way of telling God, You can't fire me - I quit.

Suicide is man's way of telling God, You can't fire me - I quit.

The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed...

The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed...

The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed...

The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed...

This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich...

This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich...

When we make mistakes they call it evil

When we make mistakes they call it evil

I have a high state of resentment for the conformity in this country. If you're...

I have a high state of resentment for the conformity in this country. If you're...

When we talk about values, I think of rationality in solving problems. Thats something I...

When we talk about values, I think of rationality in solving problems. Thats something I...

People have romantic notions about television. In the highest realms they think it's some sort...

People have romantic notions about television. In the highest realms they think it's some sort...

Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will...

Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will...

NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new...

NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new...

When sex is good theres nothing better, when its bad its not bad.

When sex is good theres nothing better, when its bad its not bad.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's...

To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's...

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke

Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke

A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is...

A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is...

We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry...

We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry...

A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep...

A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep...

Difference of religion breeds more quarrels than difference of politics.

Difference of religion breeds more quarrels than difference of politics.