I'd rather laugh in bed than do it. If I went to a lady of the night, I'd probably pay her to tell me jokes. Would that be perverted?

Quote by Billy Joel

Topics: Jokes Quotes

I never said I wasn't going to play any more. I don't know where that...

I never said I wasn't going to play any more. I don't know where that...

Say goodbye to the oldies, but goodies, because the good old days weren't always good...

Say goodbye to the oldies, but goodies, because the good old days weren't always good...

I consider myself to be an inept pianist, a bad singer, and a merely competent...

I consider myself to be an inept pianist, a bad singer, and a merely competent...

I think music in itself is healing. It's an explosive expression of humanity. It's something...

I think music in itself is healing. It's an explosive expression of humanity. It's something...

I definitely prefer being a lover than a fighter.

I definitely prefer being a lover than a fighter.

In an age of incompetence, I've been able to last in this crazy business. I...

In an age of incompetence, I've been able to last in this crazy business. I...

Twyla Tharp put it together from the material I wrote and recorded over my whole...

Twyla Tharp put it together from the material I wrote and recorded over my whole...

Musicians want to be the loud voice for so many quiet hearts.

Musicians want to be the loud voice for so many quiet hearts.

They say there's a heaven for those who will wait. Some say it's better, but...

They say there's a heaven for those who will wait. Some say it's better, but...

I keep telling people: Don't make me the poster boy for AA because I don't...

I keep telling people: Don't make me the poster boy for AA because I don't...

Those who have expressed doubts and misgivings about their ability to live this kind of...

Those who have expressed doubts and misgivings about their ability to live this kind of...

Have you listened to the radio lately? Have you heard the canned, frozen and processed...

Have you listened to the radio lately? Have you heard the canned, frozen and processed...

They say there's a heaven for those who will wait. Some say it's better, but...

They say there's a heaven for those who will wait. Some say it's better, but...

I have been both praised and criticized. The criticism stung, but the praise sometimes bothered...

I have been both praised and criticized. The criticism stung, but the praise sometimes bothered...

I've crashed my car three times.

I've crashed my car three times.

I did write a letter to the archdiocese who'd banned the song, Only the Good...

I did write a letter to the archdiocese who'd banned the song, Only the Good...

You're not the only one who's made mistakes, but they're the only things that you...

You're not the only one who's made mistakes, but they're the only things that you...

Don't be afraid to try again Everyone goes south Every now and then.

Don't be afraid to try again Everyone goes south Every now and then.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.