I'd rather laugh in bed than do it. If I went to a lady of the night, I'd probably pay her to tell me jokes. Would that be perverted?

Quote by Billy Joel

Topics: Jokes Quotes

Some folks like to get away Take a holiday from the neighborhood Hop a flight...

Some folks like to get away Take a holiday from the neighborhood Hop a flight...

Say goodbye to the oldies, but goodies, because the good old days weren't always good...

Say goodbye to the oldies, but goodies, because the good old days weren't always good...

Musicians now find themselves in the unlikely position of being legitimate. At least the IRS...

Musicians now find themselves in the unlikely position of being legitimate. At least the IRS...

I sold my house to Jerry Seinfeld.

I sold my house to Jerry Seinfeld.

It's really hard to make a living as a musician. It's almost impossible.

It's really hard to make a living as a musician. It's almost impossible.

Like family, we are tied to each other. This is what all good musicians understand.

Like family, we are tied to each other. This is what all good musicians understand.

It feels great to have a 1 album.

It feels great to have a 1 album.

I am no longer afraid of becoming lost, because the journey back always reveals something...

I am no longer afraid of becoming lost, because the journey back always reveals something...

There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich...

There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich...

You may be right I may be crazy but it just may be a lunatic...

You may be right I may be crazy but it just may be a lunatic...

I can't think of one person I've ever met who didn't like some type of...

I can't think of one person I've ever met who didn't like some type of...

Don't wait for answers... Just take your chances! Don't ask me why.

Don't wait for answers... Just take your chances! Don't ask me why.

If you tell kids they can't have something, that's what they want.

If you tell kids they can't have something, that's what they want.

The good ole days weren't always good, and tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems.

The good ole days weren't always good, and tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems.

I really wish I was less of a thinking man and more of a fool...

I really wish I was less of a thinking man and more of a fool...

I have a theory that the only original things we ever do are mistakes.

I have a theory that the only original things we ever do are mistakes.

They say there's a heaven for those who will wait. Some say it's better, but...

They say there's a heaven for those who will wait. Some say it's better, but...

Historically, musicians know what it is like to be outside the norm - walking the...

Historically, musicians know what it is like to be outside the norm - walking the...

I definitely prefer being a lover than a fighter.

I definitely prefer being a lover than a fighter.

I don't know why people thought I was retiring.

I don't know why people thought I was retiring.