I'd rather laugh in bed than do it. If I went to a lady of the night, I'd probably pay her to tell me jokes. Would that be perverted?

Quote by Billy Joel

Topics: Jokes Quotes

For whatever reason, not all people are born with the particular gift of being able...

For whatever reason, not all people are born with the particular gift of being able...

You're not the only one who's made mistakes, but they're the only things that you...

You're not the only one who's made mistakes, but they're the only things that you...

I consider myself to be an inept pianist, a bad singer, and a merely competent...

I consider myself to be an inept pianist, a bad singer, and a merely competent...

When I was a young musician, the only option available to pursue secondary education in...

When I was a young musician, the only option available to pursue secondary education in...

In a way, we are magicians. We are alchemists, sorcerers and wizards. We are a...

In a way, we are magicians. We are alchemists, sorcerers and wizards. We are a...

...now as we induldge, in things refined, we hide our hearts, from harder times...

...now as we induldge, in things refined, we hide our hearts, from harder times...

There's a deep-seated paranoia that Americans have about not being Americans or something.

There's a deep-seated paranoia that Americans have about not being Americans or something.

You want to give people a reason to hate my guts more? I'm making more...

You want to give people a reason to hate my guts more? I'm making more...

Musicians now find themselves in the unlikely position of being legitimate. At least the IRS...

Musicians now find themselves in the unlikely position of being legitimate. At least the IRS...

The whole world loves American movies, blue jeans, jazz and rock and roll. It is...

The whole world loves American movies, blue jeans, jazz and rock and roll. It is...

It's really hard to make a living as a musician. It's almost impossible.

It's really hard to make a living as a musician. It's almost impossible.

I've crashed my car three times.

I've crashed my car three times.

Those who have expressed doubts and misgivings about their ability to live this kind of...

Those who have expressed doubts and misgivings about their ability to live this kind of...

I don't care what consequence it brings, I have been a fool for lesser things.

I don't care what consequence it brings, I have been a fool for lesser things.

People in music lie, but they don't expect you to believe them. People in television...

People in music lie, but they don't expect you to believe them. People in television...

I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints - the sinners are...

I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints - the sinners are...

Don't make music for some vast, unseen audience or market or ratings share or even...

Don't make music for some vast, unseen audience or market or ratings share or even...

If it seems like I've been lost in 'lets remember', If it seems I'm gettin'...

If it seems like I've been lost in 'lets remember', If it seems I'm gettin'...

Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age.

Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age.

Study until twenty five, investigate until forty, profession until sixty, at which age I would...

Study until twenty five, investigate until forty, profession until sixty, at which age I would...

You can't have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time.

You can't have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time.

The past actually happened but history is only what someone wrote down.

The past actually happened but history is only what someone wrote down.