You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take ourselves seriously on any level; we're just comedians.

Quote by Stephen Colbert

Topics: Stephen Colbert Quotes

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK...

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK...

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and...

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and...

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no...

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no...

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. Whats wrong with red,...

Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. Whats wrong with red,...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for...

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for...

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier...

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier...

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to...

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts...

Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts...

Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came...

Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came...

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto...

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto...

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently...

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently...