You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take ourselves seriously on any level; we're just comedians.

Quote by Stephen Colbert

Topics: Stephen Colbert Quotes

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.

I'm not a fan of facts. You see, facts can change, but my opinion will...

I'm not a fan of facts. You see, facts can change, but my opinion will...

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and...

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and...

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK...

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

As God said to Job, Checkmate

As God said to Job, Checkmate

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled...

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled...

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He...

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to...

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no...

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no...

Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. Whats wrong with red,...

Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. Whats wrong with red,...

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for...

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

The real risks for any artist are taken in pushing the work to the limits...

The real risks for any artist are taken in pushing the work to the limits...

Joey: Beth is really sick, I don't think they can do anything for her. Rachel:...

Joey: Beth is really sick, I don't think they can do anything for her. Rachel:...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.