Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put 'em through a spell check and go home.

Quote by Stephen Colbert

Topics: Weather Quotes

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for...

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for...

Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. Whats wrong with red,...

Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. Whats wrong with red,...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take...

You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto...

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto...

As God said to Job, Checkmate

As God said to Job, Checkmate

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled...

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled...

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to...

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to...

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no...

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no...

I sent American troops to Iraq to make its people free, not to make them...

I sent American troops to Iraq to make its people free, not to make them...

I believe the most solemn duty of the American president is to protect the American...

I believe the most solemn duty of the American president is to protect the American...

The men and women of Afghanistan are building a nation that is free, and proud,...

The men and women of Afghanistan are building a nation that is free, and proud,...