Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put 'em through a spell check and go home.

Quote by Stephen Colbert

Topics: Weather Quotes

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto...

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto...

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK...

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK...

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled...

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled...

Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came...

Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came...

I'm not a fan of facts. You see, facts can change, but my opinion will...

I'm not a fan of facts. You see, facts can change, but my opinion will...

As God said to Job, Checkmate

As God said to Job, Checkmate

Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to...

Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently...

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently...

Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. Whats wrong with red,...

Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. Whats wrong with red,...

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He...

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He...

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

It is well known that Beauty does not look with a good grace on the...

It is well known that Beauty does not look with a good grace on the...

The President has a wonderful sense of humor, which is one of the reasons it...

The President has a wonderful sense of humor, which is one of the reasons it...

You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humor teaches tolerance.

You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humor teaches tolerance.