I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: Oh well, and I went back to smoking…

Quote by Benny Hill

Topics: Benny Hill Quotes

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one,...

The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one,...

Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish, If it werent for Christmas, Wed all be Jewish.

Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish, If it werent for Christmas, Wed all be Jewish.

Why would I make one woman so miserable when I can make so many women...

Why would I make one woman so miserable when I can make so many women...

Have you noticed that all the people in favour of birth control are already born?

Have you noticed that all the people in favour of birth control are already born?

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

That's what show business is, sincere insincerity.

That's what show business is, sincere insincerity.

I'm not against half naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be.

I'm not against half naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be.

Do unto others, then run.

Do unto others, then run.

Just because nobody complains doesnt mean all parachutes are perfect.

Just because nobody complains doesnt mean all parachutes are perfect.

Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe.

Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe.