The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb.

Quote by Benny Hill

Topics: Bombs Quotes

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

Why would I make one woman so miserable when I can make so many women...

Why would I make one woman so miserable when I can make so many women...

I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I...

I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I...

Do unto others, then run.

Do unto others, then run.

Just because nobody complains doesnt mean all parachutes are perfect.

Just because nobody complains doesnt mean all parachutes are perfect.

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

I'm not against half naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be.

I'm not against half naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be.

Have you noticed that all the people in favour of birth control are already born?

Have you noticed that all the people in favour of birth control are already born?

That's what show business is, sincere insincerity.

That's what show business is, sincere insincerity.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe.

Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe.

Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish, If it werent for Christmas, Wed all be Jewish.

Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish, If it werent for Christmas, Wed all be Jewish.

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work...

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work...

Christmas is a time when you get homesick...even when you're home.

Christmas is a time when you get homesick...even when you're home.

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see...

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see...

This year, I'm going to buy all of my Christmas gifts from Nike...Made for kids...

This year, I'm going to buy all of my Christmas gifts from Nike...Made for kids...

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad...

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad...

Christmas is a race to see which gives out first, your money or your feet.

Christmas is a race to see which gives out first, your money or your feet.

Dear Santa, Please send your credit card numbers. its only fair since youre getting the...

Dear Santa, Please send your credit card numbers. its only fair since youre getting the...