I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

Quote by Robert Benchley

Topics: Funny Quotes

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying...

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying...

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying...

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying...

The free-lance writer is the person who is paid per piece or per word or...

The free-lance writer is the person who is paid per piece or per word or...

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to...

A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to...

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush,...

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush,...

Other men wear white suits in summer and it doesn't seem to bother them. But...

Other men wear white suits in summer and it doesn't seem to bother them. But...

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting...

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting...

A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for...

A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for...

An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take...

An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take...

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but...

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but...

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that...

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that...

We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.

We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.

I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.

I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance. Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance. Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed...

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed...

At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in...

At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in...