I don't know what humor is. Anything that's funny -- tragedy or anything, it don't make no difference so [long as] you happen to hit it just right. But there's one thing I'm proud of -- I ain't got it…

Quote by Will Rogers

Topics: Humor Quotes

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.

Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.

So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn...

So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn...

Never miss a chance to shut up

Never miss a chance to shut up

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back...

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back...

We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of...

We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of...

A conservative is a man who has plenty of money and don't see any reason...

A conservative is a man who has plenty of money and don't see any reason...

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country...

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country...

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi...

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi...

Successful colleges will start laying plans for a new stadium; unsuccessful ones will start hunting...

Successful colleges will start laying plans for a new stadium; unsuccessful ones will start hunting...

Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when...

Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when...

As bad as we sometimes think our government is run, it is the best run...

As bad as we sometimes think our government is run, it is the best run...

I hope we never live to see the day when a thing is as bad...

I hope we never live to see the day when a thing is as bad...

There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season...

There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season...

Pain is such an uncomfortable feeling that even a tiny amount of it is enough...

Pain is such an uncomfortable feeling that even a tiny amount of it is enough...

About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with...

About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with...

Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds

When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds

A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance.

A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance.

So long as the mother, Ignorance, lives, it is not safe for Science, the offspring,...

So long as the mother, Ignorance, lives, it is not safe for Science, the offspring,...