I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
Quote by Chris Rock
Welcome to the 77th and last Oscars.
I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.
We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry...
You could be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere.
Jude Law is in so many movies, that I went to one, and when I...
Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?
A man is only as faithful as his options.
Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher...
Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.
Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He...
Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of...
A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.
A man is basically as faithful as his options.
Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the...
Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know? People are nice to...
Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can...
Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look...
Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because...
School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.
I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.