Graduation Speech: I'd like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste....
Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.
If eating left over pizza for breakfast is wrong, I don't wanna be right!
If the professor doesn't show up to class in the first 15 minutes, you get...
In school, group projects only taught me one thing: How much I hate other people.
When bright young minds can't afford college, America pays the price.
Due tomorrow...means do tomorrow.
College is a refuge from hasty judgment.
Let me say no danger and no hardship ever makes me wish to get back...
Claude Hopkins... maintained that nobody with a college education could write an advertisement addressed to...
If I'd stayed at college I would have become a teacher.
I was working all the time I was in college. I was working so much...
Exams don't test what you know. They test how well you can study the night...
Dear google, could you sit next to me during an exam? Sincerely, every student.
We changed the names of our technical schools to colleges, we expanded the eligibility for...
No period of my life has been one of such unmixed happiness as the four...
If you tell folks you're a college student, folks are so impressed. You can be...
When we make college more affordable, we make the American dream more achievable.
I have a theory of relatives, too. Don't hire 'em.
I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the...
In an age when man has forgotten his origins and is blind even to his...
The past is a ghost, the future a dream. All we ever have is now.
Why does the Internet get Awesome when I have work to do?
I hate being tired in school and thinking 'I'm going to take a nap as...
Students are the only consumers who do not want what they pay for.