Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.

Quote by Dan Castellaneta

Topics: Dan Castellaneta Quotes

It's hard to find a play that's right for me to do. Rather than waiting...

It's hard to find a play that's right for me to do. Rather than waiting...

I think that most people don't even know that I do other things. They think...

I think that most people don't even know that I do other things. They think...

I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm...

I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm...

Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have...

Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have...

All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers....

All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers....

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

The humor is essentially dark for a cartoon and sophisticated. But at the same time,...

The humor is essentially dark for a cartoon and sophisticated. But at the same time,...

I always enjoyed writing. I did playlets in high school, I did radio shows in...

I always enjoyed writing. I did playlets in high school, I did radio shows in...

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step...

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step...

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

I've made a kind of pact with myself where I said, It doesn't matter what...

I've made a kind of pact with myself where I said, It doesn't matter what...

In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

It is better to watch things then to do them.

It is better to watch things then to do them.

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

If I were actually Homer Simpson, I'd be getting scripts out the wazoo.

If I were actually Homer Simpson, I'd be getting scripts out the wazoo.

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against...

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against...

It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge...

It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge...

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else...

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else...